Change in focus...Change for the better

Originally blogged on February 23, 2008 elsewhere.

I have changed a lot lately... for the better, I believe.

A very dear friend of mine (one of my new ones this last year) told me that she went through the same thing when she turned 40. Mine started about 6 months before I recently turned 40.

I have always been very concerned about what everyone else thinks about me and living up to their expectations. Oh, the pressure!!!!

I also have always had a terrible time with getting over-committed and having the Super Woman Syndrome.

The changes started out quite simply and with cosmetic things. Things that now, I know that many people probably didn't even notice, but they always were big to me. I figure (not that I am old at all -- I feel great being 40) that I am "getting too old to worry about...", "life is to short...", etc, etc...

My two first things were the dent in my forehead and the looks of my feet.

I never would go without enough bangs to cover my dent. I now often do. It seems so little, but like I said, it was big to me. After all this time, I have finally noticed that if I have just a bit of foundation powder on, you can't even see it. If you look VERY closely, you can see a shadow. That is all.

My feet are pretty obvious, but I have come to think that if someone doesn't like the look of my feet, they don't need to look. I know, I'm getting an attitude.

They are shaped badly due to the way I was made plus getting them both ran over by a drunk driver in the second grade didn't help one bit.

BUT, now I go for comfort and the style I want. I still will not wear sandals that emphasize their problems a lot, but I would NEVER even wear open toed shoes AT ALL before!

But now, I have also changed on the inside, too. Those are the more important ones. The cosmetic ones have helped my self-esteem quite a bit, though.

I was very much over-committed. They were all things that were good and necessary. I believe that God wants them done, but I have come to understand that God doesn't want ME to do them all! I still have four volunteer jobs (that do not take a tremendous time even all together), but have dropped all of the rest (there were a lot).

I have known for quite awhile where my focus should be, but I didn't realize how much I wasn't actually focused as much as I need to be on the right things. I am now working on keeping my focus mainly on God, my husband, and my children. If I do this, everything else will work out. It has been, too. It isn't as easy as it sounds either. Even good things can tempt you to move your focus.

I know that I am rambling, but if you have been through this, you will totally understand. If not, you have something to look forward to!

I AM much happier and often find that I have much more free time to enjoy my family SO MUCH MORE! That is what having a family is about! Enjoying them, imparting a great legacy with them, and making memories!

Life is definitely more interesting now...

Moved here.

Homeschooling Field Trips

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Twenty Years Ago -- Entry for March 21, 2007

(Moved from previous blog.)

Well, it has been 20 years (yesterday) since my mom passed away suddenly.

It is a really weird feeling. My mom has been gone for more than half of my life.

It feels like it all happened yesterday, though. I remember almost every little thing in great detail!

This year, it has been ok, just feels weird. The 10th year was hard, but the 12th was the hardest. I was planning my wedding with hubby and had a big woe-is-me period. I was NOT happy that she was not there for me...lol I know that it sounds weird, but it is honestly what I was feeling.

She passed away when I was 19 and she had just turned 40. My step-dad (only earthly father I have known) passed away when I was 35. I had a hard time then, too, because I felt way too young to no longer have any parents alive....

I may feel a bit down on Saturday (March 24th), because that was the date that she was buried. I often think a lot about her on that date, too. It is supposed to be wonderful weather once again this weekend, so I plan to spend it outside having fun!

Thank you for reading my rambling today...lol

Call your parents today and tell them how much you love them!

God bless you always,
Stephanie

Do You Feel This? --- Parkinsons

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Look Me In The Eyes

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Understanding Sensory Issues

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