Originally blogged on February 23, 2008 elsewhere.
I have changed a lot lately... for the better, I believe.
A very dear friend of mine (one of my new ones this last year) told me that she went through the same thing when she turned 40. Mine started about 6 months before I recently turned 40.
I have always been very concerned about what everyone else thinks about me and living up to their expectations. Oh, the pressure!!!!
I also have always had a terrible time with getting over-committed and having the Super Woman Syndrome.
The changes started out quite simply and with cosmetic things. Things that now, I know that many people probably didn't even notice, but they always were big to me. I figure (not that I am old at all -- I feel great being 40) that I am "getting too old to worry about...", "life is to short...", etc, etc...
My two first things were the dent in my forehead and the looks of my feet.
I never would go without enough bangs to cover my dent. I now often do. It seems so little, but like I said, it was big to me. After all this time, I have finally noticed that if I have just a bit of foundation powder on, you can't even see it. If you look VERY closely, you can see a shadow. That is all.
My feet are pretty obvious, but I have come to think that if someone doesn't like the look of my feet, they don't need to look. I know, I'm getting an attitude.
They are shaped badly due to the way I was made plus getting them both ran over by a drunk driver in the second grade didn't help one bit.
BUT, now I go for comfort and the style I want. I still will not wear sandals that emphasize their problems a lot, but I would NEVER even wear open toed shoes AT ALL before!
But now, I have also changed on the inside, too. Those are the more important ones. The cosmetic ones have helped my self-esteem quite a bit, though.
I was very much over-committed. They were all things that were good and necessary. I believe that God wants them done, but I have come to understand that God doesn't want ME to do them all! I still have four volunteer jobs (that do not take a tremendous time even all together), but have dropped all of the rest (there were a lot).
I have known for quite awhile where my focus should be, but I didn't realize how much I wasn't actually focused as much as I need to be on the right things. I am now working on keeping my focus mainly on God, my husband, and my children. If I do this, everything else will work out. It has been, too. It isn't as easy as it sounds either. Even good things can tempt you to move your focus.
I know that I am rambling, but if you have been through this, you will totally understand. If not, you have something to look forward to!
I AM much happier and often find that I have much more free time to enjoy my family SO MUCH MORE! That is what having a family is about! Enjoying them, imparting a great legacy with them, and making memories!
